Continuing Through New England

So it is 1 o'clock in the morning and I am sitting at my desk at the Comfort Inn in Flushing, NY. I could be doing something productive like packing or sleeping since we have a 1030AM show but I think I would rather blog since I am so wired and have yet again been neglecting to... so here goes!

So sometime after our lovely trip to Boston ( I am quickly getting to the point where I am losing track of where I have been and where I am going) we were in White River Junction, VT on the border of NH where we were actually performing (in Lebanon to be exact). We were looking for fun things to do and talked to the nice ladies at the counter about their suggestions, we looked into horse back riding but it was finally starting to get cold and for 40 bucks an hour we figured we could find cooler places on our trip to horseback ride. We also looked at hot air ballooning but we wont even DISCUSS how pricey that was. SO we settled on something free! Specifically, Sugarbush Maple and Cheese Farm! They had a maple walk, a sugar house, and free cheese and maple samplings. PERFECT! So off we went (we being Myself, Jonny, Margo, Jeffery, and Dave)

The first thing we saw upon entering the farm was this handsome fellow...

Margo deemed me the horse whisperer since he kept trotting straight up to me and nudging up against me... I think the color of my coat attracted him!

So then we made our way down to the sugarshack where we learned how maple syrup is made. When we walked out it had begun to snow/sleet fairly hard, hard enough that it stuck around on the ground and my hair! So we decided to venture inside to taste cheese and maple and buy fun things like cheese and maple... I knew it was my kinda place when they had this great shrine to maple syrup!


We all bought way too much cheese and syrup products and then proceeded to the Maple Walk, a brisk walk through the woods where you can see how they make maple syrup during the season. It was lovely!


It was overall a very successful trip :D

The past few days we have been around and about New York City and on two separate occasions I have ventured into the city to see shows.


Day 1 in NYC
Kevin, Jonny, Lindsay, and Myself ventured in from Newark Penn Station on the NJ Transit to NYC Penn Station. Lindsay split off for dinner with friends and Kevin, Jonny, and Myself headed to the newly refurbished time square TKTS booth. Kevin wanted to see August: Osage County but Jonny had already seen it and I wasn't all about paying more money than I needed to to see a show (tickets were only 25% off to August and Kevin ended up just buying a full price ticket anyway so he didn't have to sit in the crap seats) so me and Jonny confired and decided we wanted to see either The Seagull, All My Sons, or Equus so we went up the nice lady at the booth and asked what she currently had the best seats for, her answer was Equus so we each set down out 64 dollars and that was that.

August started at 7:30 since it is so damn long so Kevin headed off to the theatre whilst me and Jonny, having a bit more time, headed to my favorite little spot in Time Square...Bella Vita pizza on 43rd between 8 and Broadway. We got a cheese pizza and shared their FANTASTIC moose/cheesecake/strawberry heaven dessert and walked over to the theatre. We had pretty great seats in the third row of the mezzanine and the show was FANTASTIC. We ran into Eric in the bathroom line at intermission, who was sitting in the Orchestra, and this made meeting up to take the train back together all the much easier. We enjoyed the rest of the fantastic production (seriously, the lights, the direction, the acting, the lights, the script, the innovative horses, and did I mention the lighting?) were all just spot on, really delivered the powerful score and made it really ring even in a modern day. At the end of the show it was Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights Aids (it seems to be everytime I go to the theatre) and ontop of the usual donate this much money and get a signed playbill or this much money and get a signed poster they also did an auction... specifically for Daniel Radcliff's Pants! Someone paid 1 grand for the pants he wore in the show signed by him, if only I had a grand to spend on pants! It was great though and we all met up and took the train home.


Day 2 in NYC:
Last night (4 days after the initial NYC trip I think...) Margo, Kevin, and Myself again ventured into the city in search of cheap tickets and good time. We looked at the student rush and decided to go see All My Sons, and even though Kevin didn't have his student ID since they didnt really seem to care (the didn't even look at mine) we all got our happy 26.50 tickets to the show. Alas it was only 430 at this point and the show wasn't until 7 so me and Margo went to find a salon to get our nails done and Kevin went off to Colony and some other shopping trips. We found a place called Classic Salon on 48th between 5th and 6th that had a special 24$ manicure and pedicure between monday and wednesday so we went! The ladies there were very nice but also very pushy and I made the mistake of mentioning I had thought to get some waxing done before my trip to Key West next week and well needless to say 2 hours and around 100$ each later we walked out of there spiffed up and groomed up. We met Kevin and walked to the theatre. This production...well...wasn't quite as fantastic as the first. First off Diane Wiest wasn't on that night, her understudy was, which is always disappointing. Secondly, poor Katie Holmes was obviously given very little coaching as to how to project on stage so she was forcing and yelling quite a bit and you could hear in her voice it was leaving its mark of damage. Thirdly, and most importantly, all these great actors and this great script were simply swimming through soup trying to fight through what is obviously a very poor directing job. The director is some "innovative" director from Europe. The problem being most European theatre is Presentational whilst American Theatre, especially the plays themselves, are Representational so there was a lot of unfounded acting moments and meandering around the stage as if he was uncomfortable letting them just sit and be in the characters. It was awkward to watch at times but overall I am glad I saw it, and glad I only paid 27 dollars for it.

Sadly whilst in my purse over the past week my Camera got impailed by something and has suffered significant damage to its LCD screen. The screen itself is intact but the pixels behind it show where it got hit and the effects. Needless to say, I need a new Camera.

Two days till I am home for Winter Break!

Keeping Up To Date

So in an attempt to keep up to date and maybe encourage myself to write more often I am going to skip over the everything I have left up to this point and just jump straight to Burlington and Boston. SO HERE GOES

Earlier this week we were in BEAUTIFUL Burlington, VT. I drove there and everyone in the car was resting, I had my music playing as I drove up over the hills and mountains with the New England fall leaves and distant farm houses as my scenery. I was officially in love!

In the Car Margo discovered the "Let's Go USA" book that tells you about a bunch of US cities and what to do when you visit, she was elated. So that evening we went to an Italian Restaurant downtown and enjoyed a simply fabulous meal, one of the best we have had on the road so far. The building was designed to look like the inside of a rustic ski lodge and it was just a very calm, nice atmosphere for our supper. Lovely.

The next day, thanks to the unseasonably warm weather in Burlington, Margo, Jonny, Jeffery, Dave, Eric, Rudy and I enjoyed a lovely hike a few miles outside of the city. It was ranked as easy to moderate but I would say it was more along the lines of moderate to intermediate, nothing we all couldn't handle but defiently some make-your-butt-sore-the-next-day uphill climbs.


The trip was well worth the view from the top though. It was a touch hazy that day but you could still see the Adirondack Mountains in the distance as well as the beautiful view of rural VT.


Here is the whole group (minus Eric who took the picture) at the top!



On the drive home we passed by the Vermont Teddy Bear factory and with just a look we all knew it was necessary we stop! We didn't buy anything or take the factory tour we just looked around. There was a whole bin up front of defective teddy bears that were on sale for 20 dollars (VT Teddy's usually cost around 60 to 70) some just had holes in their backs that could easily be stitched but some were missing arms, legs, even heads! HA! sad. But they did have these lovely Biden/Obama bears on display!



Later that afternoon, Margo, Jonny, Jeffery, Kevin and I ventured to downtown burlington for some shopping and eating. I found possibly the most perfect engagement ring ever in a lovely jeweler called grannis, bought some maple sugar candy and other lovely vermont treats as well as turtle fur ear muffs at The Apple Mountain store, and bought myself a new claddagh ring to replace my broken one at a not-so-expensive jeweler. We then ate at Sweetwaters, not my favorite stop on tour thus far, but the company was great!

That night came the announcement of our new President Elect BARACK OBAMA and vice president elect JOE BIDEN! How do you think a bunch of young starving artist feel about that?

AMAZING that's how! ha!

Should have been a great day right? WRONG. Sadly, that day during the show my purple "harlequin verb slut" top untied on stage and I spent the rest of the number doing everything in my power to keep myself from flashing a bunch of elementary schoolers on stage. I DID IT THOUGH! ha
Then the second show I blindly ran with by big red fabric as I always do, however Dave's car wasn't being very friendly that day and had a hard time getting rolling so he was RIGHT behind me when I ran. My foot became the victim of this incident. He is still slightly swollen and blue to this day.

Anyway, Sadly we had to leave Burlington the next day. Onward to Concord, NH where nothing really happened that I recall with any distinction.

Next it was on to New Bedford, NH where Margo, Jonny, Lindsay, and I took a day trip to Boston (about an hour and some change away)
It was a BEAUTIFUL day! Here are Lindsay Margo and Jonny on our walk down Commonwealth Ave



We walked quite a bit that day... through Boston Commons and the public gardens which were both fantastic. Here is a lovely fall picture Jonny took of me!



We walked down and met up with his sister Andrea at work and she showed us the place she started. It is an amazing company called Nexus (http://www.nexusboston.com/) that educated other companies, architects, children, ect about how to build and maintain green buildings and homes. It's an amazing project and it was so cool to tour her place.
After that the group of us walked down Faneuil Hall and just walked around and shopped and observed a bit. Walked to Jonny's favorite waterfront stop and then over to Little Italy for dinner before back to the train. It was a great day, very peaceful and luckily the rain held off for our whole day of walking!

So now here I am in Lebanon, NH with a day off tomorrow when we are going to tour a Maple and Cheese Farm! Should be fun.

Only 11 days till I am home and 18 days till my birthday and trip to Key West. I am very excited!

Well I Suck

SO
I said I was going to be better about blogging on tour. GUESS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

I am not going to go through and fill in everything I have missed since I last wrote SO I will just give the main points?

___FLORIDA___

Me, Kevin, Jonny, and Margo went to the Astronaut Hall of Fame in Cape Canaveral while we were staying in Melbourne. It was pretty cool. Jonny was most excited about the G-Force Simulator...

I could not participate due to my massive motion sickness.
Across the street there was the American Police History Museum and Hall of Fame. There was a shooting range and helicopter rides so we wanted to go... BUST. The shooting range was closed and they had "lost their contract" with the helicopter... but there was the fantastic gift shop..

amazing

We adventured down to Ft. Lauderdale on one of our last Florida days. I decided to take a break from the sun and go read my time magazine under a shady palm tree. within seconds of sitting down an elderly gentlemen made my aquantence and proceeded to talk to me for a good half hour. Everytime there was a lull in conversation he began a completely different one, everything from places he had lived, to airlines he liked, to the weather in Florida. Unfortunately about half way through the conversation the wind was blowing my magazine pages about and I looked down to straighten them and saw it... sitting there... staring me in the face... standing out against the sand and the dark blue bathing suit...big... old... BALL! so gross.

___McLean___

So after leaving Florida we drove to McLean by way of Lumberton North Carolina. McLean was great for me... I went to Tysons and bought a new jacket, Michael came down the first day and we went to my dads house for dinner. The next day we did a show and afterwards I hung out with Casey for a bit. Then Michael came back down and we went to Gordon Biersch for dinner then watched TV and fell asleep, it was great. The next day my dad came to the show and then we were off to Wilmington, DE

___Wilmington, DE and Staten Island___

Wilmington was cute. We went out one night for Dave's 27th birthday and had a very nice dinner. It was sad to see how damn cold it really was getting... significantly colder than even normal fall weather for the North East.

Staten Island was... interesting. I made last minute plans to meet Adam and Ann in the city for dinner. Well it took over 3.5 hours of crazy shuttle drivers, ferries, getting on the wrong train and ending up in harlem, to actually make it to Ann's place in the Heights. We had some good chinese and talked about people I used to know. good night, but stressful.

---BALTIMORE---

How could this not be great?! I was home for 5, count em 5, nights. ohhh man it was fantastic. It was kind of hard because it made me feel like I had been on vacation for the past 3 weeks and now I was home when it was really the opposite. But it was great all the same. I couldn't even really tell you what we did until the last day... a lot of sitting around our house, watching football and food network, and just enjoying each others company in our house. I did some halloween decorating. I really REALLY wanted to clean up the yard a bit and plant some more bulbs up front so I would have some fantastic flowers come spring but it was very cold and rainy the entire time I was home. The last day Alison, Michael, Mike's mom and grandma came and saw my show, they seemed to really enjoy it, then we went out to Lunch at applebees. Afterwards Michael and I spent the afternoon getting our house ready for people coming over for dinner. That night Eric, Brian, Margo, Lindsay, Jonny, and Dave came over for a spagghetti dinner. It was a really great time. I rarely....scratch that...never have friends over to the house since, lets face it, I dont really have any, so it was nice to have people over. Brian also brought over two PUMPKINS that we carved. I wish I had taken pictures but once Brian puts his up I will steal them.

So that leads me to being here in Virginia Beach. My mom came up and we had dinner and did some shopping and then she came and saw the show this morning and then had lunch with me margo and jonny before heading home. It was good times. The shows went mostly well, sadly there were some technical glitches this morning, but the venue is beautiful and the people that work there are nothing short of FANTASTIC. particuarly the wardrobe people, which are the techs I always have the most access too.

Tomorrow we are planning on going out for Halloween which I hope will be fun, though I won't lie and say I am very much looking forward to going home at the end of November.

TOUR!

Well Here I am out on the road, currently in Orange Park, FL (a suburb of Jacksonville). I have promised that I will be better about blogging on tour and hopefully I will live up to it.

I currently can not post any pictures on this blog to make it more interesting, sorry, but I left my camera cord in Baltimore so I will retrieve it from Michael in 11 days in McLean and then pictures shall be available.

SO! The beginning. We began by driving about 16 hours in two days to Sarasota with a stop in South Carolina on the way where I saw a bumper sticker that said "nuke Iraq" reminding me how much I love people. Sadly, the long hours of Air Conditioned Van Driving made Margo a sick little girl :(

So upon arrival in Sarasota Kevin and Lindsay joined us (both had auditions preventing them from enjoying the first 16 hours of driving and met us down there) and we had a full fun happy group. Tuesday morning Jonny and I ventured to Siesta Key (about 7 miles south of Sarasota) to Rent bicycles for our days in Sarasota. My logic to this was there were about 4 places of interest as well as downtown Sarasota within 2-5 miles from the Hotel and it seemed, by renting bikes, we could go to as many of these places as we pleased without worrying about Van usage and get some fun outdoor exercise while we were at it! I sent a text to everyone in the group, as is customary, but Jonny seemed to be the only one to agree with my logic. So to the bike store we traveled! The man at the bike store was very nice and helped us select two "beach cruiser bikes" on the logic that road bikes can only go on the road but beach cruisers can go on the road and the beach. We didn't intend on going to the beach but it sounded like a nice thought. That is until we decided to bike to the Aquarium 4.7 miles away over a very large bridge in a headwind... gears would have been nice. But damn it was good exercise. We saw all sorts of fun fish and petted sting rays and overall had a very nice time. Pictures to come later.

So that night Me, Jonny, Margo, Rudy, and Jeffery went to downtown Sarasota and had some Mexican food. It was quite tasty. Sarasota is a very very pretty place but I find it funny that the majority of dining downtown is Italian. Curious.

Anyway the next morning we had our first two performances of Tour at the very pleasant Van Wezel building. We mentioned constantly that we would be happy just planting ourselves for a couple weeks and doing the show there. The building was great, the staff was so smart, kind, and accommodating it was really a pleasure. The audiences were HUGE though I am not sure entirely as responsive as our DC children's audience, they still seemed to enjoy it very much. It was a pleasure.

Upon returning to the Hotel we dissapointingly realized that a trip to the Dali museum in St. Petersburg would not be happening because of Van usage and time and such so me and Jonny decided to get the most out of our bike rentals before their return and biked downtown to have lunch. We wanted to go to this homey looking Irish Pub called O'Malley's so we walked up the stairs to its second story home and stood there for at least 5 minutes wandering around calling out "HELLO" to no response. I even peaked in the Kitchen, and there was noone. Potentially the most awkward thing I have ever seen. So we went to a little, slightly more expensive, place called Patricks which was very nice. We then drove our bikes back over to Siesta Keys and returned them. That evening, after not being able to make any decisions, a group of us decided to venture back downtown and see if anyone was at O'Malley's this time. SURPRISE! they were. We enjoyed a late dinner, but they were in the process of changing the menu so most things we ordered were not available. And then the manger was trying to clean out a drain and upon opening it unleashed the smell of unholy hell. But he gave us a free round of Washington Apple shots as an apology and the food we did order was very enjoyable. Afterwards everyone wanted to go to this gay bar, but Jonny inquired to their underage attendance and they were strictly against it so I went back to the hotel. Luckily, it was a bust anyway and everyone was back by 11pm.

I spent the evening chatting with Michael on the phone and putting all my receipts in order for tax purposes before nodding off to sleep for our departure this morning.

We drove to Orange Park today (250 miles back in the direction we came from, one of the unfortunate aspects of touring is by no fault of anyones due to availability at venues we end up backtracking a little bit from time to time. for example on the 20th we are in McLean then we go to Deleware and Staten Island then back to Baltimore then Virginia Beach then back up to Mass.)
It seems like a pleasant place here. The people at Panera were possibly the nicest people I have ever encountered in my life and they commented on the pleasure of my pleasantness as well. One thing I do like about the south is the southern hospitality. They can be a bit blunt though... a woman got on the elevator with me in Sarasota and the first thing out of her mouth was "so who are you voting for". Awkward.

Everyone else has just departed for the Gym, and the Technicians are at the space doing Load In. I am staying here to work on a voice over for Michael and then who knows!

Ciao from Orange Park!

We have PUPPIES!


That's right, Michael and I are fostering two little Terrier-PitBull mixes for the next three weeks. And let me tell you, these little boys are a handful. We decided to foster because I am going on tour so we do not want to get a dog until I get back and we figured fostering was a good way to learn what we are going to need to do when the time actually comes and to see if we can even handle a little baby puppy or if we may have to go for one already trained.

First off, I can tell you this, we will not be getting a pitbull of any sorts when its time to adopt. Not that these guys aren't cute as pie but they are a touch on the aggressive side and I think for our first dog we would be better off starting with something already apt to be calm and well trained, like a the lab we keep talking about getting.

Secondly this training thing is mighty hard! Now the people at the shelter told us they are not going to be really able to be housebroken until they are older than 8 weeks since their little bladders aren't big enough yet to understand how to "hold it" but a website I was looking at about training said they can begin to be housebroken as young as 4 weeks so I think I am going to try to start. It's hard when you don't see them poop everytime!

They just got their first bath which went mostly well. They were a little stressed out after a while that they couldn't get out of the tub themselves and I had to dry them with a hairdryer since they are not old enough to keep their body temperature settled themselves.

Another problem? Walks. They don't understand the concept and have no desire. They have more fun rolling around the front yard and biting their leashes than actually making any forward progress. I am trying to enforce the concept on them so they start to learn but also so they start to accept that I am boss. I will update on this process as it continues to progress.

Crate training is going fairly well. They did soil their crate last night but they stayed in it all night with only a bit of fuss at the start. We have to physically put them in the crate at this point so we will see if they get better with going in themselves. Little entices them at this point. They aren't too fond of toys or treats, just my feet, so it's hard to find incentive for good behavior but I will continue to work on it.


I am slightly worried about tonight, since I have my show and Michael is coming so we will be leaving the house around 4:30 and not getting home until 11:30. 7 hours is a long time for the little guys and I am trying to figure out wether we should crate them or just keep them closed off in the kitchen. We will see what we decide.

David opens to mixed reviews...

David In Shadow and Light had it's official opening at Theatre J Sunday night, also press night, and the reviews have been...mixed.

I use the term mixed because whilst none of them were particuarly glowing reviews, each had different likes and gripes, as is typical in the world of critique. I generally turn the other cheek on reviews because in the end, they are not why we do theatre. The only real detriment of reviews is to the broader audience of non-typical theatre goers who rely on reviews to tell them what to see, as with movie reviews. I am the type that ignores movie reviews and go see what looks appealing to me, as I am with theatre.

The thing that got me really thinking as I read through the four reviews I found yesterday and today (the post, the times, all arts review 4 u, and DC Theatre Scene) was why, through all that was discussed, one important element was missing. I don't feel any of the reviewers talked about what was to be felt from the piece. What they got, what they thought about, what it meant to them. Isn't that what one of the great thing about live theatre is? The ability to go to the bar or coffee house after the show and discuss with friends not only which actors you liked, or what worked or didn't work technically, or what you thought about the music, ect ect but what affect it had on you, what it made you think about, what points were made.

I think a main part of this show is when you dig through everything else and look at the core, the bone structure, the heart, it is a story about the Human Condition, however flawed, and its affect on others and the world as a whole. David is a perfect example of this. Rising up from nothing, and through charisma, talent, beauty, poetry, and music he rises up to be King over all the land only to prove that he too, is flawed, and yet God and man still love and forgive him as he loves and forgives those around him for their sins. It seems the reviewers have all become so concentrated on all the technical elements they forget the main reason people come to theatre...people come to the theatre because of how it makes them feel. they want to connect with the characters and story unfolding on the stage in a way that is hard to do with a Tv or Movie screen. They want to follow them, feel for them, rise and fall with them and I think, through all its flaws, this is done in David.

I wonder how long a person can review theatre, day in and day out, weekend after weekend seeing show after show, before they become too jaded to see the beauty in anything. Not just the talent, not just the good story or strong direction, but the beauty. Art is beauty.

Is Advanced Placement always good?

So it's been a while but everyone has been talking about blogs and such around this place so writing I am. Plus I am not doing anything on stage at this moment.

A thought that crosses my mind on a regular day basis is how much advanced placement has affected the course of my life, in positive and negative ways. I have been in "aquilla" or "signet" or "GT (gifted and talented)" or "honors" or "AP" classes my entire life that they have been available. From about 3rd or 4th grade I believe. This provided a lot of very strong opportunities for me throughout my young life. I can remember back in Aquilla when we were allowed to make our own studies as long as we provided a clear goal and purpose. I develped a third level to the Shakespeare study. And it was all based in independent study. We were allowed to chose what we wanted to be working on at any given time and given the time and space to do it on our own accord undirected aside from the listed goals. But what about the negative affects. I was never in classes with any of the children who were not considered "GT" so I never developed a tolerance or understanding for people whos minds didnt work exactly like mine. Not that one is better they are simply different but it was instilled in me through the use of words like "gifted and talented" that we were "better" in some way. I learned to work on my own and as I got older and group work was used more and more in schooling I loathed it and took on all the work myself. To this day I still prefere to work on my own by my own accord.

Do children that are put through GT systems miss out on a certain level of socialization?

I think so. And while the benefits are many I can't decide if they outweigh the damage. I suppose had I gone into engineering or medicine these effects wouldnt mean so much but I chose theater. A profession where working with others, some who may not work on your intelligent level, is a matter of everyday life and you are constantly taking direction from others.

It's strange how much desicions made by others for you when you were under the age of 12 affect you for the rest of your life, most of which probably dont seem to matter at the time they were made. For example a lot of kids I know were held back from Kindergarden or 1st grade because they were socially ready to move on. That doesn't seem like a big deal then but when you are in 10th grade a year or more older than the other kids in your class it starts to become a bigger deal. Anyone who knows me know my theory that the Rhode Island school system screwed me with my spelling.

I wonder what I will do to my kids that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

privacy?

In this, the age of the internet, there are a lot of concerns about privacy. especially for the under 18 crowd out there. Kids are willing to put information including their name, where they live, what they look like, who they are friends with, where they go to school, ect ect ect on countless websites like Myspace and Facebook and even the ones that are careful by making their profiles "private" or "friends only" are raising concern with parents around the country.

This is a hard debate.

American Heritage Dictionary Defines Privacy as thus...

1.The quality or condition of being secluded from the presence or view of others.
2.The state of being free from unsanctioned intrusion: a person's right to privacy.
3.The state of being concealed; secrecy.

The first, obviously meaning bascially being a hermit to society
the second and third are more what I am concerned with here.

A person's RIGHT to privacy?

I have always taken issue with the word "right"
We have the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But who gives us said rights? God, I suppose, for surely the Government does not.
So does God also give us the right to privacy?

No.
Essentially, we as adults, set our own limits on our rights to privacy. what we chose to share we do, and what we chose to keep private, we have the right to maintain it as thus... unless of course you are applying for a job, gaining security clerence, in a relationship... in these cases keeping certain things you wish to remain private can be seen as hiding or secretavie and this is frowned upon.

But for Children (or rather minors I suppose would be the more correct term)
Privacy is garnerd by their parents. As it is in most things they do.
Is this right?

I have no idea.

My boss was discussing with me finding condoms and lube in the bedroom of her 14 year old freshman in high school son and immedietly grounding him, deleting his myspace, and removing the items. she informed me of this because she seemed at a loss for what else to do.

Was she invading his privacy?

Any parent will easily tell you no. A child's room is part of the house the parent owns and the parent essentially, in simple terms, owns the child as well so they have every right to search through their personal affects.

I have a hard time with this notion. It is used often by parents snooping through rooms, diaries, online pages and such to find out about a child's involvement in drugs, sex, alcohol, or even non-illegal activities. just to monitor their life.

Is this big-brotherish? or just a parent's right...or even responsibility to keep the child safe?
Where do you draw the line when it comes to privacy?

If a child knows that everything they do is subject to being found will they ever write private thoughts down? Isn't writing in a journal seen as a very positive tool for helping work out your inner turmoils? Will they feel alienated and untrusted by their parents? Will they try these things in more dangerous environments to avoid being caught at home?

What are the rules of privacy when it comes to children?

Is there a right or wrong way to do things?

Stripping Bare

So I was talking to my director after rehearsal the other day about scheduling and he decided to use this time to give me a note I am sure he had been itching to give me for a while.

He spent about 5 minutes nicely sugarcoating and beating around the point he was trying to get at.

He didn't think my performance was honest.

It shook me a little.
That's a lie--- it shook me a lot.

He kept talking about how this company was all about putting it all out there, being real... as if it was a company I was new to, or new nothing about, which just solidified my feelings of being an outsider. How did I feel more part of a company I only did one show with two months ago than this company where I am on my third show in three years?

He said I just need to let go and let the emotions exsist.

Now, anyone that knows me will think I am crazy to be complaining about a note when usually I do nothing but gripe about not getting notes but this was not a note I expected and I feel it spoke of me more as an Actress in general than as a note for this particular rehearsal, role, or show even. (not to mention he did state that it has to do with me still being young and we all know how much I hate anyone referencing my age as a gauge of inexperiance)

But is it true?

Do I always play it too safe?

I think a lot of it has to do with me as a person. I have such a hard time opening up and letting go no matter what the circumstance. For example, today at work I was in the back room doing freight and I was listening to broadway on my Ipod player and everytime someone walked in the back room I got really nervous about them judging me.

Who the fuck cares what they think?

Answer?
I do.

God knows why. But I always play it safe in life, and in acting, because I am too scared to strip bare and then get picked at. I always felt like once I was on stage, really living in the character, or once I was really comfortable with the people I was working with it got better but I haven't had that click moment yet and maybe that's why Mark decided to talk to me, because he knew I hadn't clicked yet and we are winding down in the process.

How can I get my performances to become real and soul-bareing if I can never be that way myself?

It's a little easier to get away with in Musical theatre but once you throw yourself into a show that needs to be so real, so honest, it all becomes obvious.

I thought I overcame this really well in Bold Girls, but maybe I didn't. Maybe I haven't even scratched the surface.

Adam knows this well after casting me in Faustus and then probably regretting that when he had to spend an entire two hour rehearsal on my two pages of dialouge trying to dig it out of me. I appreciate what he did so much though because it led me to really let go and as small as that part or project may have been in the grand scheme of life, it is one I am still proudest of. But I can't seem to carry all that work we did onward.

Especially in a rehearsal hall in the basement of a chuch where people laugh and joke when they forget lines and I am not all that comfortable with the person I am playing opposite (I mean he is a really really nice guy, but I don't know him well at all and it just feels...awkward? which I guess is good since our characters are supposed to be awkward but it does make it hard)

Maybe it will all click this coming week...

but with directors who don't know and trust me, it won't be as forgiving. I have to be able to show at every audition and every rehearsal that I can be that actor that lets it all go.

I just don't know how. or where to start...

"It's Only Words, Unless They're True" -- David Mamet

"Acting is not about dressing up. Acting is about stripping bare" - Glenda Jackson

For Myself?

I was at rehearsal last week, apparently looking a bit under the weather/ frazzled (what else is new?) So Joe asked me how I was doing and I replied fine, just tired and stressed. He asked why (as is polite in normal interaction) and I proceeded to break it down for him.

The day before I had worked from 9-2 then gone to the middle school and worked 3-5 then rehearsal from 7-9 then work from 9:30 - 3am and woke up to repeat the process again that current day.

He looked at me for a moment and said something to the effect of you work a lot. do you ever just do anything for yourself?

I looked at him for a moment and shrugged and picked up my book and as I began to continue reading a book about Arts Education it really stung. Everything I do is for work or for someone else.

I realize this is a selfless existence but what do I do for myself?

I feel as though this is the dilemma that arises when your career is your artistic passion.

Whilst a lot of people who have artistic passion have a regular job, for example Michael... while he loves his job and has passion for it he does his job for his job and does his music for himself, my acting, my art, is my job.

This is a problem I have explored before in my life. I tried to take horseback riding lessons for a while to have something of my own.

It's more than just that though. Everything I do, even if I consider it what I am doing for myself (my shows for example) has an effect on the rest of my life. How I do in this show, or this job, or with that voice student, no matter how much I love all of the above, will affect my next show, my next job, or me getting more students. Nothing I do doesn't carry weight, aside from sleeping, eating, or watching TV.

I just wish I could find something that I did for me that it didn't matter if I didn't do perfectly all the time. That I could just do for my own enjoyment and not worry about if this will get me that audition or get in the way of that job.

The problem is I have stuffed my life so full of the other stuff I am afraid there isn't much room for anything else cause I may explode.

I mean obviously spending time with Michael watching movies or whatever is for myself but that's down time, rest time, like anyone else.

I keep trying to add these types of things to my life...
I want to start sewing again
and sing rock music
or start writing again.

but it's just so hard to get started.

Old Blogs

So I like this blog addy better so I am transfering...

Daylights Saving Time
Why do we still do daylights savings?! It is completly obsolete. Daylights saving was put in place so that farmers would have sunlight when they went out early to work on the fields. we, in general, do not have an agricultural society anymore and even in places where it doesn't exsist the technology to light the fields does. Plus the animals take a while to adapt to the time change (being feed at a different time for example) since they dont run on clocks

Changing clocks is just a hassle that noone needs. Plus that whole losing an hour in spring forward puts everyone in a bad mood.

There is the argument that it saves energy but the energy gained is balanced by people having to cool their houses in the late summer nights.

But seriously, Ben Franklin came up with this idea because he thought we were wasting daylight otherwise. And it was only adopted in the US during War Time to "conserve energy" it was vetoed after two years and reinstilled in the 40s by choice of the states not a federal law. Then Nixon gave us the law as we know it today during the energy crisis. It was extend in a bill in 2005 to take place in 2007 (what we just witnessed)

My personal thoughts? Whilst I am all for energy saving, im sure if a study was done on the effect of daylights savings on energy it would be minimal to none and i feel there are better and less inconvient places to put our energies. Now I realize whining about setting your clock back or forth an hour twice a year is really silly but it can really screw up someones life if they forget to do it! Or their phone does it at the wrong time because it was moved back a week (that's right AT&T I'm talking about you!)

Posted by Carolyn at 8:36 PM 0 comments
Monday, November 12, 2007
Modern Medicine
What has the internet done to medicine?!

For years I have been going to the ER with horrendous pains in my side, occasionally accompanied with fever and vomitting. Noone has been able to tell me what the hell is wrong with me. The only people attempting to figure it out are my family. I have gone through many tests and we are getting closer to a solution (by knocking out what it isn't) because we took the time to research the symptoms on the internet.

My psychiatrist recently started me on a medication and told me to look it up onine and then decide if I thought it was a good solution.

Isn't that why they have teh title of Doctor?! I think it is ridiculous that in our society people can find out more in depth information about what ails them on the world wide web than by goinng to a doctors office and I can figure if this is a positive development or not.

On the one hand it does help you figure out if your condition seems serious enough to go to the doctor or if that strange bump on your leg is just an ingrown hair and perfectly normal. I am sure it is helpful for your doctor if you can walk in and say "i am concerned i may have _____ because these are my symptoms ____ and i was wondering if we could discuss this as well as other possibilities" you are more informed about what is going on in your body.

On the other hand it can lead to negative self-diagnosis and self-medication which could be incorrect. and if the problem is serious enough it could be dangerous to the health of that person if they just ignore it.

I wonder where this will all lead? One day will you just be able to log on the internet, plug yourself into some sort of machine that records your vitals and sends it off to your doctor for diagnosis? will regular doctor visits become obsolete?

Posted by Carolyn at 8:50 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Voting
So yesterday was the Virginia Senate Election. The Senate as a whole went democrat, which I'm thrilled about because I believe that better represents Virginia's desires as a whole.

But we lost the 37th district as Incumbent Republican Ken Cuccinelli beat challenging democrat Janet Oleszek by 91 votes. 91?! This is just a message to all those who think that there votes don’t matter. I also think there is a huge problem with people not voting for smaller, more local elections. 36,000 votes in the 37th district. The national average for a district's population is 625,000 with at least 1/3 being of voting age. And I would go out on a limb and say our district prolly has a higher than average population so I find it a little sad that 36,000 people voted on what was a pretty important election.

Currently, Cuccinelli represents our district in the Senate. During that time he has voted for Concealed carry on campuses, High driver fees (around 1,000 for speeding) for Virginia State Drivers whilst out of state drives get waved for the same offense, and No background checks at Gun Shows.
75% of the time he votes against conservation efforts in favor of big energy business
He supports the amendment to define marriage as between a man and woman.
He is a leader in the pro-life movement
He believes in allowing religious symbols in public venues, including public schools

He out rightly opposed an event sponsored by George Mason University called "Sextravaganza" in it's first year saying its organizers were lacking moral fiber and that it promoted promiscuity, abortions, and gay sex, even when the organization defended the fact that all sides were to be represented at the event, from abstinence and pro-life, to birth control and free AIDS testing.

The event was a hit and was put on again the following year.

I do not think this accurately represents the views of our sully district and I am saddened that he will be representing us for another 3 years. But I hope this is a lesson to everyone that every single vote counts so get out there and VOTE. Those of you away at school, make sure you get your absentee ballots and get them in on time. It is our right as American's to have a say in who represents us and as those rights are being slowly stripped away be big government in times of crisis we should defend the one that defines us as a democratic society.

Posted by Carolyn at 8:03 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
So yesterday at work I actually felt bad ringing someone up. I asked Brittany if she ever has that feeling and she said yes, when the person is an asshole. I explained I didn't mean you just didn't want to ring them up, rather you felt like you were doing a bad thing by ringing someone up.
Heres the deal...this woman (who apparently comes in the store a LOT and reguarly purchases suits accroding to Liz) was one of my last costumers last night. And what was she purchasting? You guessed it...another suit, and a sweatervest to go with it. So I do my usual commercial
"and would you like to save an extra 10% as well as continue recieving great cupons in the mail by opening a Limited account tonight?"
"Oh I already have one thank you"
"well just so you know, you are recieving double points on all the purchases you make today"
"Actually... I tore it up one night in an attempt to stop shopping so much, can you look it up for me"
::pause:: "Sure... I just need to you to write down your social security number and the zip code the card is registered to"

So I turn around to the phone and dial the voice authorization system and put the information in and it gives me the account number as well as the current balance and the available credit...
Current balance ... 2,645$
Avalible credit... 250$

My jaw dropped. That is more than I have on my regular credit card yet alone a credit card that can ONLY be used for purchasing in our store. And it's not like it's Sears or something where you could be buying a couch or a dishwasher...it's the Limited...just clothes. Cute clothes, but clothes none the less.
So I wrote this information on the piece of paper with her account number and gave it back to her and she promptly dropped it in her bag and I continued ringing her up. She split her purchases in half to use two cupons so I am not 100% sure but I know it was at least close to her total avalible credit.

I just felt bad. I know store sales are supposed to be what matter but we are very customer oriented at our store and I feel like I shouldn't allow my customers to put themselves in debt over the newest pant cut.

This may make me a bad retail employee.

I have also decided I cannot close with Liz anymore becaues everytime we haven't gone green she somehow without even really trying convinces me to buy clothing.


So I think my next show was moved back but I do not think they actually TOLD us. It was on the new audition announcement (for more dancers) and it is on the website... I feel like I should know before that happens. I am a little upset about it. Now my brother and sister won't be able to see it since the only time they could come would be the day after thanksgiving with Amanda being in Chicago and Drew being in LA and all....plus I will be getting payed for a week less of performances which is kind of sad. Oh well. Such is the life I guess.

Posted by Carolyn at 8:30 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
First Post
I could do that whole "first post" thing where I talk about why I have decided to start a blog or who I am or what I hope to accomplish here but the truth is I have no idea. I guess I always thought blogs were kind of fun or interesting and it just seems like a place to jot down random thoughts and occurances and enjoy the possibility of response and debate. who knows. I'll prolly end up writing something out of anger or frustration or something funny and someone will read it and get offended or whatever because that's life right? Oh well... here goes.

Today I worked for 11 hours. Not straight...well not really. and not all at the same job.
Basicially I was working Floor Set at the Limited in Pentagon monday morning because they have very few employees (and even fewer good ones) and no management of their own to speak of and yet are a very high traffic store so we get roped in to come help out. It was 8 hours of hell but it went by fast enough.
Anyway, I went into my own store at 6:30 for my closing shift and it was a damn mess. The floor was nowhere near done, things were strewn everywhere...it looked like a forever 21 with a sale (no offense but that store is a mess). It made me sad. I take pride in things I consider mine and get very attached to things too easily. So I volunteered my services to come in this morning if they needed extra help. 9:13 my phone rings and its Krissy asking me to come in. I gladly obliged (the extra money never hurts. fairfax is expensive)
So by 10am, coffee in hand, I was fixing jewlery. Jewlery is my favorite and least favorite thing to fix.... you see the problem is that whilst jewlery is easy to put away and leaves you with a high sense of accomplishment it is also the thing in the store that gets messed up the easiest and most often. People have this amazing habit of picking up things and knocking everything around it out of place and then putting it back down in a completly other place. please explain to me why people need to pick up a pair of earrings to decide if they like them?

Anyway so I did that until 2 and then left and grabbed a sub at the subway across the hall. I originally grabbed a bag of doritos to accompany my sandwhich (6in. herbs and cheese with mayo, american cheese, and provolone cheese) but in a moment of extreme pride I replaced them and went for the bag of apple slices instead. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to put a shirt on in the morning without going "ew"

So then it was off to Liberty MS. Today was a "club liberty day". Basically a bunch of kids just show up and for the first hour or so we play sports then they get a snack and then we play video games until their parents pick them up around 5:30. You wouldn't believe the amount of money this program has. There are 3 playstation 2s, 4 playstation threes, two wiis, and an x-box 360 as well as all the best school-apropriate but still loved by kids games to go along with them including ddr with at least 6 metal pads, singingstar, guitar hero, many different types of madden, super mario brothers, and so on and so forth and wireless controlers for all the equipment as well as the tvs and rolling stands tehy go with. crazy right? I guess thats why they can afford to pay me as much as they do. I had a nice long discussion/argument with one kid about redskins v. eagles and played a round of wii tennis with him before learning he was autistic... nice guy.

Back to work at the limited 6-close. mostly finished my jelwery except some stuff in the pictures hadn't been unpacked from boxes yet so Liz told me to just replace it with other stuff. I agree with this but it still highly frustrated me because i hate feeling like I have left something half-done or half-assed. not my style.

regardless I left around 11:10 and went to the grocery store and then returned home...

pretty uneventful day with the exception of the kookie customers we get at what should be a very un-kookie clientiel store.

i really wish i could afford a house. or even a town house. apartment living pisses me off. a lot.

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html?from=mostpop
before reading anything decide if the dancer is spinning clockwise or counterclockwise.
more on that next time.